You know you’re a cat breeder when …

… you receive a flyer through the door from “The Bengal Bicycle Club” and you don’t think of a region in India, but the spotted cat.  Fancy that, you wonder … how on earth did they teach a cat to pedal a bicycle … .

You know you’re a cat breeder when …

… you talk about kittens leaving wet patches on the bed, and your esteemed colleague at work flinches and goes “urggh” and looks at you like you’re some sort of barbarian living in sordid conditions [possibly true] with poor hygiene standards [not where the cats are concerned].

But when you mention it on a breeder’s forum, there are understanding nods all round and copious replies offering solutions and sympathy.

You know you’re a Cat Breeder (4) when …

… the first person you buy an Easter Egg for, is the vet … .

 HAPPY EASTER EVERYBODY!

www.catswhiskers.uk.com

You know you’re a Cat Breeder (3) when …

 

You know you’re a cat breeder when you buy a chicken costing £6.93 for the cats and then agonise over splurging out £4.95 for a Marks & Spencer’s shepherds pie for yours and hubby’s dinner.

Doubtless, said chicken was a happy free-range chicken. But still. Feeding raw costs a fortune especially when you’re feeding 3 adult cats and 7 ravenous kittens. They are going through about 5 chickens a week. I leave you to work out my food bill (sans hubby’s feed).

I don’t know … maybe I’ll have to switch to commercial because I could be spending time with the kittens rather than sweating over a meat grinder. I can understand why cat breeders feed commercial – it’s just so much more economical and convenient: just open the box/tin/packet … and pour.

And surely commercial can’t be that bad … I do wonder sometimes when I see Grand Champions in the show ring, with luxuriant coats and huge boning, the result of years of Royal Canin Maine Coon.

But I’ve seen the results of raw feeding in my queen, Ananda – she fully-converted to raw about 3 weeks ago and her coat is amazing – her tail is bushier and her energy levels have gone up. This is a queen who’s still nursing. A breeder I know in the US says her queens never lose condition during or after pregnancy because she feeds raw.

I don’t know. It’s 9pm now on a Thursday evening and I’ve got 1.5 hours of chunking and grinding a chicken because if I don’t they won’t have any food tomorrow. Ah … the joys of raw feeding!

Thank goodness hubby likes M&S Shepherds Pie (and Cumberland Pie and anything with mash, actually).

You know you’re a Cat Breeder (2) when …

You know you’re a Cat Breeder when you refer to your female breeding cat as “my girl” and your stud cat as “my boy”.

Even if your stud cat swaggers in at 25 lbs, reeks to high-heaven of cat pee and testosterone, can pin hapless queens to the floor with one twitch of a whisker, and has a name like Imperial Grand Champion Schwarzenegger Freddy Kruger III, he’s still your “boy”.

Never mind that your breeding queen is a screaming harlot who will scratch doors down when callling, she’s still a simpering little “girl”.

Knowing this will help you understand the mindset of breeders when you next encounter them in a cat show.

I think there’s something about breeders that make them want to reduce their cats to family, and make you think of these cats as little fluff balls of purrdom even when the purpose of their cats is to breed and make kittens. It somehow throws a whimsical veil over what is basically sexual acts between two cats.

And just in case you didn’t know … you know you’re a breeder when queen doesn’t refer to Elizabeth … .

You know you’re a Cat Breeder (1) when …

You know you’re a Cat Breeder when you place getting a new cat scratching post above getting a new pair of glasses.

This weekend – quel disastre! I broke my spectacle frames at a point that could not be mended (across the bridge) and couldn’t find any of my back-up pairs. I was blind as a mole – the kittens were plump streaks on the floor, I couldn’t even read the blog.

This morning, I found a new set of frames at the optician’s, to the tune of £90, and was discussing the possibility of getting a new set of glasses + lenses because my prescription had changed and I needed varifocals.

So, how much?

£360 the reply was. Just for the lenses (a little apologetically)

But … but … (apart from the unaffordable expense of £360) that was the same amount as what I would pay for a superior cat scratching post from www.catpalace.nl.

The cat post I was lusting after was the RB.4X – 4 tiers crafted from real tree trunks, and finished with artificial ficus leaves. It was as close to natural for indoor cats as could be. I could already see my cats lolling around like little emperors and peeking from between the leaves.

So … glasses or cat scratching post?

Please check out www.catpalace.nl, and send me your votes asap – it could mean the difference between the ability to see the no. 125 bus, or happy cats.

Which would you choose?